Farewell, my greenie

If this blog can demonstrate something to anybody, is the fact I don’t handle well being abandoned.

I am hurt. That’s what your blocking combined with attempted apologies did to me. You fucking hurt me, and you didn’t even give me the chance to say goodbye because you blocked every way of communication between us. Without any good reason, you burned this old bridge, cause you felt the need to build new ones and you were in need of „materials”. Or so I guess…

I took off the ring. I took of your ring, the one which you proposed me to marry you 4 years ago in the airport. I almost never took it of, no matter how old and ugly it became with time, no matter how many boyfriends glared at it, no matter how many stupid gold or silver rings I received, because it meant a lot to me. It still does, I sometimes freak out because it’s not on my finger anymore, but then I remember the reason it isn’t there and just get sad.

You know, the moment you gave me that ring, I saw my future with you, and I remember quite vividly how it freaked me out for a second. But then I saw your eyes, and more than anything, I saw that you truly wanted a future with me. I am a person who stands by whom she cares about, and in distance, with our ups and downs, along the years, we still grew close. Next year would have been 10 years since we knew each other. But there won’t be a next year, because you chose so.

More than anything, I am sorry that you didn’t commit to this friendship as I did. I know I have loved you, in my own selfish twisted stupid romanian way, but I did. You always had a piece of my heart and now you’ve chosen to burn it, just because it’s old.

And that’s just sad.


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