Addicted

Oh God…

Dear God, please stop my addiction on him. I fell again and again in the abyss of his eyes last night. Sometimes I wonder what I did on this life or past lives to deserve such cruelty, to still love a man who doesn’t love me back.

Dear God, last night when he came, hugged me and kissed my lips, I was so happy I could die. Now I’m looking at his bracelet, damn, it fills my room with his mixed scent of perfume, cigarettes and him. I look like a crack addict, putting it on and taking it off after 5 minutes, afraid of it taking my scent.

Dear God, how can I still break my heart after so many years, after it was broken again and again for the same shit?

Oh God, let me feel at home one more time, for one more moment…cause last night’s kiss doesn’t pay for another year of pain and solitude.

 

 

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