Odd feeling

I...  I don't know how any of this happened. He's a terrific person, he's sexy,  we get it on, he likes me the way I am. I don't even like me the way I am. Everything is terrific, but I gotta tell you, I'm experiencing this very odd feeling... I think it might be happiness.

The reason

My shrink said that I must find the reason why I keep going back to him, that I can't be a masochist to inflict so much pain upon myself without receiving something in return. And I keep coming up with many reasons...yet I can't find the one.